Today I Will Learn To Fly

“Today I Will Learn To Fly”

acrylics on canvas
triptych
2019

(available)

When I started painting this triptych I had no idea where I was going. I just took the colours I felt like and let them do their thing. Sometimes they have a mind of their own, and then I'm pretty much just a witness to what is happening. Today was like that.

At some point I realised I'm painting clouds. Kind of clouds. A dreamscape, dream clouds. Something that is like... well, what clouds like in dreams. And light on clouds. And together with that came a memory, and a feeling.

When I was a kid I used to dream about flying, very often. I flew almost every night. I still remember the feeling of running really fast, spreading my arms, and then slowly, majestically rising into the air. The most amazing thing ever! My heart would leap, I felt like I was about to burst with sheer joy. I was flying!

I remember what clouds looked like from above.
I remember how small everything was when I was in the sky.
I remember air rushing against my face.

I cannot remember when the dreams ended - as an adult I've only flown a few times in my dreams. But, when it happens, it's always like that - just rising into the air, slowly, without wings, just... flying.

Free.

Capable, and free.

I think I'd like to get back into the place that believes in flying. I'd like to get that part of my brain back. I'd love to fly in dreams again because, well, it was just amazing. But even more than that I'd just love to get back that child's boundless faith in her possibilities... To know that if I just run fast enough, I'll rise into the air.

Who knows?

Maybe today I'll learn to fly. <3